I post, therefore I am
I recently deleted my Facebook account, and now in slightly hazy, not entirely thought-through circumstances I ended up disabling my Instagram account as well, but to be honest, I don't think I want to reactivate it now that I've already taken that step. Decreasing my online presence and having less of pointless feeds to scroll has been a goal of mine for a while.
Social media has been a big part of my life. We had IRC-Galleria here in Finland in the early 2000s, but the majority of users migrated to Facebook and again to other services after its popularity has waned. I remember writing about my thoughts of online presence back when I was still a student and tormented by the idea of connecting with people on a meaningful level. I was a different person back then and my newfound confidence in my social virtues has meant that I no longer see social media as an uplifting force, but as an unhealthy crutch, making me uncapable of growing as a person.
Obviously, your mileage may vary, and these are very personal observations. I find all social media platforms to suffer from the same core issues:
1. Habit-forming
Social media apps are addictive and reinforce certain behavior (obsessive checking of the app for new likes or comments, which might happen more than a hundred times a day). This is my main issue, as Time is at a premium at this age. I don't enjoy losing half of my day watching feeds of inane memetic drivel, even if my brain feels engaged by it. I'd rather focus on something decidedly, not having my attention trapped using some psychological trick devised by a technician.
The habit is still there even if I deleted my accounts. I had to block social media sites on my computer, because I still try to go there.
2. Loop of anxiety
Especially on Instagram, the usage becomes this perpetual loop of anxiety, where you scroll through your feed and stories of followed pages, until you feel you need to post something as well, to bring in all the likes and validation, until the loop starts all over again. Sometimes when I've felt depressed, I feel the urge to post a nice picture (enhanced with filters, of course) of myself, to take the edge off of my misery.
It's nice to get noticed, but whatever I post on Instagram is the epitome of low effort. I have a proper systems camera, but I never use it. It's all just selfies and shaken images from my phone. Even if I work on music or paint or draw something, I just lose interest if I need to work on it for more than a few hours. I only do it for the likes. I get no joy from my work unless there is engagement from my followers. I want to end this loop and enjoy things without a technological middleman in charge of my serotonin.
3. Non-communication
While social media can be used conservatively and to really connect to people, let's be honest, that doesn't really happen with regular use. You need to make an active effort to connect to people and without that, you're just a spectator. Everyone lives in their own little space, posting about their own lives, only to coax others doing the same. It's a lie that we tell ourselves and I do not blame those caught up in it. That tinge of serotonin that you get from getting a meme or a cat picture from someone is real.
Especially if you feel lonely, social media posits itself as a solution - you'll put yourself out there and get noticed, you'll get friends and interesting conversations, this great tool and platform will make it possible, but truth is, it never happens. We might feel a bit validated from each like, but it just sweeps over like a shower of summer rain. You get a beep from your phone, you feel it, but deep down you're still lonely.
I think conspiratorial thinking could be an analogy for what I'm getting at here. Often those who seek answers from such alternative sources are looking for validation, order, stability and predictability, but through this mental defense process these seekers end up actually eroding their worldview and trust, resulting in a way more distorted, hostile and unwelcoming Weltanschauung.
Conclusions
I'm truly sorry, that I've disappeared from all the populated spaces of the web, without any notice and might have caused worry or anxiety. Ultimately I think this reclaiming of my personal life from the clutches of the social media is a good force in my life. If you want to stay in touch, you can find my email address on the bottom of the site. You can ask me for my number, or address if you want to write me. I still maintain a presence on LinkedIn for professional purposes, and on Discord, for more personal instant messaging.
The vagaries of my life can be observed through this website. I'd rather write these longer treatises even if no-one reads them, as this is a way more productive way to spend my time, than looking at memes on my phone. With these words I bid thee farewell!